Life Is Very Beautiful
by jeviennis
Summary: Katherine Howard ponders life as she prepares to die.


Life Is Very Beautiful

_Master Culpepper, I heartily recommend me unto you, praying you to send me word how that you do. I heard that you were sick. I never longed so much for anything as to see you. I would you were with me now you might see what pain I take in writing to you. It makes my heart die to think that I cannot always be in your company. _

The sun shone and the birds chirped happily, and despite the wooden block in front of her, beckoning her forward, Katherine couldn't help but glance to the skies. Everything seemed that more precious when it was to be taken from you, she realised. The clouds were whiter, the executioner's axe was shinier, and the blood on the deck was redder. Things happened in half time – the walk to the block took an age, the tears that slid down her ladies' faces were slow and fat and the wind sighed leisurely, waiting. Faces became clearer, no longer the blurs of the Queen's subjects, but the emotions of every individual person. She studied their expressions, noting everything, watching how they worked in amazement, like a newborn baby. Fear, sadness, contempt, guilt. Katherine wondered if it was only in death, as you prepared to leave the world behind, that you could truly see it for what it was. How ironic.

As she stood in front of her people, always so loyal, so trusting, she knew that she could not lie to them. She could not apologise to them for her actions, beg for mercy or plead for their pity. These people deserved her truth, not the censored words of a monarchy. And so the first thought that came to mind was spoken, no royal filter attached.

"_I have come here to die. I die a queen. But I would rather die the wife of Culpepper."_

The crowds gasped as she stepped back, murmuring and whispering. Katherine couldn't help but smile inwardly as she watched them comprehend something so entirely scandalous. Their Queen no longer loved their King. They didn't see what they saw within him: the darkness, the cruelty and the endless dissatisfaction. And they didn't know Thomas Culpepper.

As she knelt before the block, she saw his eyes, always so intense, always roaming across her features. His lips, always so perfectly puckered, always so gentle. His skin, always so flawless, always so smooth and soft. She thought of his voice, so calm, so melodic, like a tune to her. She thought of the way his hand would stroke the wisps of hair by her temple as he lay next to her, propped up on one arm. She thought of the way he would trace a line down her spine, fingers lighter than air, the way she would shiver as he did it, and the little smirk that would play across his mouth as her body trembled. She thought of the way he would gaze at her, as if he'd never seen anything so lovely in his entire life, and she remembered the way he would stare sadly at her as she dined with the King in the evenings, as he took her hand and showered her with lavish gifts and compliments. She never asked for any of that from Thomas. She never needed it. All she needed was him, and the knowledge that he would love her until the end of his days.

Katherine admired the morning for a while longer, then brought her gaze back down to the block in front of her. She dragged her fingers around the edges, pulling them through the blood that trickled down the sides. Poor Jane. As she lowered her head slowly, she felt like remarking on the unhygienic state of the death, but then with a silent giggle, just a tiny bit tinged with sadness, she remembered that she wouldn't be around to care. The people in front her stood silent, and she hoped, for her pride's sake and what little remained of her reputation, that it was out of respect, not anticipation for the gore of her death.

The executioner raised his weapon above her head, and for a moment she was scared. But then she thought of Thomas again, and that warm feeling filled her chest: the feeling of home, of belonging, of love. And just as quickly as the fear had come, it was gone, replaced instead by unblemished happiness.

The axe swung down, and the last thing Katherine knew was her lover's eyes staring back at her. She was going to be with him, wherever that was, and that was better than this life entirely.


End file.
